By Joe De Leon
Hosted by Jim Ross and
Live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Celebration music played, with balloons and glitter falling down from the cieling. About every WWF superstar made their ways into the ring, because Vince McMahon apparently had an announcement. McMahon was guided out on his customized wheelchair by The Big Boss Man, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco, Commissioner Slaughter, and K-9 cops and dogs. McMahon announced on 11/15, at Survivor Series, there would be a sixteen-man tournament to declare a Heavyweight Champion. The crowd called McMahon an @$$hole, and he said he was proud of it. McMahon made it clear Stone Cold Steve Austin was fired from the WWF. On the Titan Tron, a freeze-frame was shown of how Austin looked when he was told he was fired. McMahon said Austin was indeed hunting -- hunting for a job. McMahon said if Austin were to attend a WWF event, he would have to purchase a ticket like any other fan. McMahon said firing Austin was better than sex, and basically continued to brag about it. McMahon directed his attention to every superstar in the ring, and told them none of them were big as him, and hope they learned a lesson. McMahon said "McMahon 3:16" would sweep the globe, and he had the brass to fire someone's ass. Austin was shown on the Titan Tron, loading up a hunting gun. He was at the arena. McMahon and his associates were shocked.
Backstage, Vince McMahon walked into his luxurious locker room, in fear. He told The Big Boss Man to get his family out of town. He said he wanted the camera man to stay for proof. Austin was shown, in his truck, shining up his gun.
X-Pac (w/Chyna) defeated
Ken Shamrock with the Face Buster.
-Neither the Intercontinetal Title or European Title were on-the-line. Before the match, pre-recorded footage was shown of D-Generation X hanging out with Motley Crue. Motley Crue would perform on Sunday Night Heat and the following day on Raw is War later in the week. Backstage, McMahon continued to worry, but Gerald Brisco said McMahon had plenty of protection. Chyna was arrested by two police officiers; the commentators speculated she was arrested due to the sexual harrasment lawsuit that was filed on her, courtesy of Mark Henry. Mankind made his way out, and was immediately attacked by Shamrock. After Shamrock was able to get out of the Mandible Claw, X-Pac caught him from behind with the Face Buster to take the win.
Backstage, Chyna was placed in a police car, and apparently would be jailed. The New Age Outlaws and X-Pac were very concerned and upset. According to Jim Ross, Hunter Hearst Helmsley was not at the arena, because he was back in Birmingham, Alabama, rehabing his knee. Two police officers walked up to Stone Cold Steve Austin's truck, and made friends with Austin. Both police officers got autographs from Austin. At Vince McMahon's locker room, he was very furious over what was going on.
Backstage, Vince McMahon ordered the K-9 police officer to get the dog after Stone Cold Steve Austin. The officer basically said "no way," because he didn't want to indanger his life. The officer left, and McMahon shouted out, saying he needed protection. Gerald Brisco said he would try to get the officer back in the locker room.
The Headbangers defeated
LOD 2000 (Animal and Darren Drozdov) via Pinfall.
-The Headbangers did an introduction that was very much like The New Age Outlaws'. They even wore fake, plastice Tag Team Titles. After Hawk was encouraging Darren Drozdov, he inadvertently distracted Droz, causing Droz to get rolled up. The Headbangers pinned Drozdov and took the win. Animal and Drozdov got onto Hawk, but Hawk tried to explained he didn't mean to cause a loss for LOD 2000. Jim Ross said, "Droz seems a little over himself ... but I guess that's how all youths are."
Backstage, Vince McMahon's associates left to go get some coffee. McMahon couldn't believe that they were leaving, and was obviously scared.
Backstage, someone knocked on Vince McMahon's locker room door. McMahon went up to the door and fear, and it was Mankind and Mr. Socko. Mankind said he would help out McMahon, and gave him plenty of sweet stuff to eat.
-After Paul Bearer had turned his back on Kane at In Your House: Judgement Day, he was back as the manager of The Undertaker. The Undertaker was heavily booed by the crowd. The Undertaker said he reunited with Bearer because Bearer understanded him more than anyone else. Bearer admitted to using Kane, and wouldn't need him anymore. The Undertaker confirmed he was the one who set the fire -- the one that burned Kane. Kane made his way out, with a casket. Kane cut to the chase, and challenged The Undertaker to a casket match over his voice encoder. Kane said his brother would rest in peace.
Backstage, Mankind and Vince McMahon were smacking down on candy, and having a conversation. Mankind tried to convince McMahon to rehire Stone Cold Steve Austin, saying that when he (Mankind) was rehired by McMahon, they became best of friends. Mankind said the four of them (he, McMahon, Austin, and Mr. Socko) could become a kliq. Mankind pulled out a game for entertainment.
Backstage, Mankind was playing twister. All of a sudden, Vince McMahon ordered Mankind to leave his locker room. McMahon said he was in danger, and he couldn't believe Mankind wanted to play a game.
Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra
McMichael) and Steve Blackman No Contest.
-Debra McMichael was the official manager Jeff Jarrett, and looked more beautiful than her days in WCW. Jim Ross confirmed during the match that the casket match between The Undertaker and Kane was officially set for later in the show. As the match went on, The Blue Blazer attacked Steve Blackman. Blazer left, leaving Jeff Jarrett with his guitar. Jarrett put the guitar high in air, and was ready to nail Blackman, until Al Snow and The Head appeared. Al Snow was ready to nail Jarrett with The Head, but couldn't, after The Head was distracted by Debra McMichael. Snow and The Head looked at Debra, and Snow was nailed with the guitar.
Backstage, the phone in Vince McMahon's locker room rang. McMahon was hesitant to answer it, but did. It was Stone Cold Steve Austin, and said "Vince, you bastard, your time's up, son ... I'm comin' to get you." McMahon was very scared.
Backstage, Vince McMahon called up his limo driver. He asked if the limo driver saw Stone Cold Steve Austin on the outside of the arena. The driver said no, meaning Austin was in the arena. McMahon told the limo driver to leave the back door open, and to scream if he (the limo driver) saw Austin. McMahon slowly made his way to his limousine, until he was attacked by Stone Cold Steve Austin, who was hiding behind the limo. Austin had his bow and arrow and gun with him. He slowly strolled McMahon into McMahon's locker room, banging McMahon's ankle into several places. McMahon's locker room door was shut, with only Austin and McMahon inside.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin asked a scared Vince McMahon if he had ever been hunting. McMahon said once, but it was a safari, and didn't kill nothing, but took pictures. Austin then pulled out a knife.
The Rock defeated D-Lo
Brown (w/Mark Henry) with the Rock Bottom.
-After D-Lo Brown missed a top-rope maneuver, The Rock caught him with the Rock Bottom. The Rock took the win, and at one point during them match, he successfully executed the People's Elbow. Afterwards, Mark Henry and D-Lo attacked The Rock, until officials broke it up.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin was playing with his sharp knife, and grabbed an apple. McMahon was basically crying. Austin said he would take McMahon later in the night, and he wouldn't feel a thing. Austin began to peal the apple.
Backstage, Vince McMahon said Stone Cold Steve Austin wouldn't get away with what he is doing. Austin most definitely disagreed, and pulled out his bow and arrow.
Tiger Ali Singh Interview
-Babu was roasting some hot dog weenies. Tiger Ali Singh said he would demonstrate to the world how vulgar the American appetite was. Singh said he would pay any American peasant $500 for swallowing a kabasa -- whole. Babu picked out a woman (who is actually from The Howard Stern Show), and she stuck the kabasa all the way down her mouth. The woman was paid $500. The Godfather appeared, and said the woman Babu picked was one of his hoes. "By what she did with the kabasa, you could tell she is a good ho," said The Godfather. Singh attacked The Godfather. The Godfather got a chance to slam Babu to the mat. Officials broke up the brawl.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin showed Vince McMahon a picture that he shot an arrow at. Austin wanted McMahon to squeal like a pig. McMahon, basically crying and embarrassed, oinked very loud.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin told Vince McMahon about the movie Mysery, where the woman hurt the guy's legs with a sledge hammer. McMahon shouted out for help. Austin taped McMahon up, and said he would find a sledge hammer. McMahon had a 2x4 by his legs.
Val Venis (w/Terri Runnels)
defeated Mankind via Pinfall.
-As the physcial match went on, Mr. Socko and the Mandible Claw were put into Val Venis' mouth. Terri Runnels got on top of the apron, and distracted the referee. Mankind put Venis in the corner of the ring, and was hit in the leg by a chair, courtesy of Ken Shamrock. Venis fell on top of Mankind, and made the pin. Afterwards, Mankind and Shamrock brawled into the stands. Goldust appeared on the Titan Tron, and said nothing is over, and would shatter Venis' dreams. Terri whispered something into Venis' ear. Terri laughed about whatever ever it was she said, but Venis was sick of whatever he heard, and left the ring.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin taunted Vince McMahon. He said McMahon would not feel a thing.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin said he and Vince McMahon would have fun watching the casket match between Kane and The Undertaker. Austin told McMahon to choose his pick of the match. McMahon chose Kane very fast, as if he didn't care. Austin explained to McMahon, if Kane won, they would do things the easy way. But if there was any other outcome in the match, things would be done the hard way.
Casket Match: The
Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) and Kane went to a No Contest.
-The Undertaker and Kane fought in the casket, and tore it apart. The casket had been destroyed. Kane chased after Paul Bearer up the entrance way, and The Undertaker hit him with a chair from behind. Bearer and The Undertaker walked back to the locker room, with Kane right on their backs.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin explained to Vince McMahon things would have to be done the hard way, since there was another outcome of the match, and Kane did not win. Austin said in order to do it, he would have to take McMahon out of the locker room. McMahon begged Austin to leave him alone, but Austin showed no sympathy.
Stone Cold Steve Austin strolled Vince McMahon to the ring, and it took a while for them to get out there. Austin had McMahon get into the ring. Austin watched on the Titan Tron what McMahon had said about him at the beginning of the show. McMahon was on his knees, crying. Austin stuffed some papers in McMahon's pocket, and said when McMahon would read them, he would be surprised. Austin was ready to make McMahon's eyes pop out, and put a gun to McMahon's head. Austin pulled the trigger, and it was a toy gun, that said "Bang 3:16." Austin proved to McMahon what it felt like to be humilated in front of the world. Austin showed that McMahon had urinated in his pants. Austin finished off the show by giving McMahon two Stone Cold Stunners.